Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Dead Beat Dads: Mother Abuses Child Blames Husband
Dead Beat Dads: Mother Abuses Child Blames Husband: "Today while watching the Steve Wiko's show I became furious at our society. I feel for the lady screeming on TV and I am horrified tha..."
Monday, December 13, 2010
IT TAKES TWO
dead·beat Pronunciation: 'ded-"bEt
Noun : one who persistently fails to pay personal debts or expenses
FEUDING AND NEGLIGENT PARENTS
IT TAKES TWO
Children are living breathing human beings - not cute little puppies that you leave on a street corner, drop with relatives, or abandon when you get tired of the responsibility.
They are a life long commitment.
If you can not pay your child support for whatever reason speak up! And to the ex-spouse - "listen" with an understanding and work it out in a logical manner. Don't make demands. Try to remember why you got married and why you had children. Don't blame the court for their decision when it was your responsibility to decide what was to be done. You have no right to complain when you are guilty of giving your power away to someone else to decide for you.
If you are not paying child support just because (shame on you). You better look at the big picture, grow up, and get a life. You produced a child for whatever reason and that child is 1/2 your responsibility whether you like it or not (not the governments responsibility) .
Noun : one who persistently fails to pay personal debts or expenses
FEUDING AND NEGLIGENT PARENTS
IT TAKES TWO
Children are living breathing human beings - not cute little puppies that you leave on a street corner, drop with relatives, or abandon when you get tired of the responsibility.
They are a life long commitment.
If you can not pay your child support for whatever reason speak up! And to the ex-spouse - "listen" with an understanding and work it out in a logical manner. Don't make demands. Try to remember why you got married and why you had children. Don't blame the court for their decision when it was your responsibility to decide what was to be done. You have no right to complain when you are guilty of giving your power away to someone else to decide for you.
If you are not paying child support just because (shame on you). You better look at the big picture, grow up, and get a life. You produced a child for whatever reason and that child is 1/2 your responsibility whether you like it or not (not the governments responsibility) .
In all fairness,
In all fairness, it is important to make note of the word “willfully,” or any word meaning the same, as it may appear in deadbeat dad definitions. Deadbeat dad exceptions do exist and might include, for example, a father who would like to pay child support but, for some oddly legitimate reason, can not hold down a job, or a doting dad who meekly makes weak but timely $100.00 US Dollars (USD) payments on a monthly $400.00 USD court order, or the weekend dad who, although he can’t scrape up those payments, always shows up on Friday for the kids. Certainly, this behavior is inexcusable and smacks with deadbeat familiarity, but it is, in all fairness, not befitting of the title. True deadbeat dads are notorious for more than their huge support arrearages. Stereotypically, they are devoid of any kind of emotional remorse or resolve, and they tend to maintain rather sociopathic excuses for the financial noncompliance. Deadbeat dads simply do not like the rules and many will move, remarry, change names, and work for cash to avoid any and all parental responsibility.
PS
PS
Definition of Dead Beat Dad
"Deadbeat dad" is the gender-specific slang term used to describe a father who willfully ignores and evades a court order to provide financial support for his children. Unlike typical slang terminology, deadbeat dad is a term that is used freely in and out of court. The term is predominately used by those employed in child support enforcement agencies throughout the United States. Consider the fact that even deadbeat dads, as despicable as they are, understand the term's connotation and attach no pride to its stigma. To the mothers of the children whose fathers “opted-out” of their parental responsibilities, a no more appropriately descriptive term has ever been coined.
How can a person choose to think that raising his children is someone else's responsibility ? What is being done about this by our Federal Government?
PS
How can a person choose to think that raising his children is someone else's responsibility ? What is being done about this by our Federal Government?
PS
Saturday, July 3, 2010
How to Locate a Deadbeat Dad | eHow.com
How to Locate a Deadbeat Dad | eHow.com
Single parenting is hard. It’s easier if the other parent chips in for living expenses. Some parents lose touch with their children and refuse to pay support. State child support agencies have become more efficient in finding deadbeat parents. Parents can help the agencies, and work on their own using professionals and the Internet, to track down deadbeat partners.
Difficulty: Challenging
Instructions
Things You'll Need:
Name or names the other parent uses
His or her driver's license number
Date of birth
Other parent's social security number
State(s) the other parent may be living in
Clear and recent photo
Internet access
Work with the State Child Support Agency
Step 1
Help the agencies. Some states work hard to track down non-compliant parents, at no cost to you. The child support agencies have tools and experience that you do not have. In addition to active searching, many maintain websites to publicize information about the missing parents. Share as much information as you can with your state child support agency.
Step 2
Provide information which is especially important for tracking down the deadbeat parent: Date of birth, social security number, driver's license number, photo, and where you think he may have moved to.
Step 3
Working with the state child support agency may take a long time, but once they track down the missing parent, you will cheer to see how efficiently the agency collects the past-due child support.
Check the Internet
Step 1
Do some legwork yourself. Even if you end up working with professionals, you can save time and money by checking the Internet yourself for information about the non-compliant parent.
Step 2
Search Engines: Check search engines by typing in the parent’s name in quotes. If the person’s name is common, you may find too many matches. In that case, include more information, especially a middle name, or the state where the person may be living.
Step 3
Check out WhitePages.com. If the missing parent is living with someone else, or is maintaining a low profile, you may not find anything on WhitePages.com, but it is always worth a try. Under "people search," type in her first and last names in the appropriate boxes. If you find too many matches, narrow them down the way you did with the search engines above. If you can narrow it down enough, you may learn both an address and a telephone number.
Step 4
Surf the social networking sites. Is your ex brazen enough to take a page on a social networking site? Law enforcement professionals find perps there; you can, too! To check the major sites, you need to create account. If your children keep you too busy to set them up, ask a friend who enjoys social networking to check for you.
Investigation Professionals
Step 1
Hire a professional investigator who has access to information you can't touch, such as motor vehicle records, professional license searches, and UCC filings. Because he is working just for you, he may accomplish the searches faster than the child support agency. Some investigators help you enforce collection as well. He may not work with you unless the deadbeat parent is four or more months behind in payments, or if you are collecting government support
Step 2
Ask for help. If you prefer to work with someone face-to-face, ask your friends and your attorney for recommendations.
Step 3
Look on-line. Many professional investigators now offer websites, with fee schedules upfront. Some offer money back guarantees.
Ads by Google
San Diego Child Custody
Mediation Saves Time and Money Peaceful, Affordable, Fast
www.AFairWay.com
Find Lost Family Members
Free Search Consultation Guaranteed Results! Search Now.
www.OmniTrace.com
Owed Child Support?
Let us Collect the Child Support You Deserve, Get the Facts Now.
www.NationalChildSupport.com
Find People For Free
Find Everyone From Your Past With Unlimited Free People Searches!
www.MyLife.com
Tips & Warnings
Unless you are lucky, you will probably not find your missing partner right away. Keep records of what you learn and when.
Spelling is very important on Internet searches.
Your state child support agency may not have the time to devote to finding your ex. As much as you are able, do your own search as well.
Resources
Guide to State Child Support Agencies
How to Use Search Engines
Deadbeat Dad and Mom Finders
WhitePages.com Nationwide Search
Who Can Help Sponsored
Ask a Lawyer Online Now
Need to do this project? Then let us help!
I want to do this!
What's This?
Read more: How to Locate a Deadbeat Dad | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4423631_locate-deadbeat-dad.html#ixzz0seXB9W4z
Single parenting is hard. It’s easier if the other parent chips in for living expenses. Some parents lose touch with their children and refuse to pay support. State child support agencies have become more efficient in finding deadbeat parents. Parents can help the agencies, and work on their own using professionals and the Internet, to track down deadbeat partners.
Difficulty: Challenging
Instructions
Things You'll Need:
Name or names the other parent uses
His or her driver's license number
Date of birth
Other parent's social security number
State(s) the other parent may be living in
Clear and recent photo
Internet access
Work with the State Child Support Agency
Step 1
Help the agencies. Some states work hard to track down non-compliant parents, at no cost to you. The child support agencies have tools and experience that you do not have. In addition to active searching, many maintain websites to publicize information about the missing parents. Share as much information as you can with your state child support agency.
Step 2
Provide information which is especially important for tracking down the deadbeat parent: Date of birth, social security number, driver's license number, photo, and where you think he may have moved to.
Step 3
Working with the state child support agency may take a long time, but once they track down the missing parent, you will cheer to see how efficiently the agency collects the past-due child support.
Check the Internet
Step 1
Do some legwork yourself. Even if you end up working with professionals, you can save time and money by checking the Internet yourself for information about the non-compliant parent.
Step 2
Search Engines: Check search engines by typing in the parent’s name in quotes. If the person’s name is common, you may find too many matches. In that case, include more information, especially a middle name, or the state where the person may be living.
Step 3
Check out WhitePages.com. If the missing parent is living with someone else, or is maintaining a low profile, you may not find anything on WhitePages.com, but it is always worth a try. Under "people search," type in her first and last names in the appropriate boxes. If you find too many matches, narrow them down the way you did with the search engines above. If you can narrow it down enough, you may learn both an address and a telephone number.
Step 4
Surf the social networking sites. Is your ex brazen enough to take a page on a social networking site? Law enforcement professionals find perps there; you can, too! To check the major sites, you need to create account. If your children keep you too busy to set them up, ask a friend who enjoys social networking to check for you.
Investigation Professionals
Step 1
Hire a professional investigator who has access to information you can't touch, such as motor vehicle records, professional license searches, and UCC filings. Because he is working just for you, he may accomplish the searches faster than the child support agency. Some investigators help you enforce collection as well. He may not work with you unless the deadbeat parent is four or more months behind in payments, or if you are collecting government support
Step 2
Ask for help. If you prefer to work with someone face-to-face, ask your friends and your attorney for recommendations.
Step 3
Look on-line. Many professional investigators now offer websites, with fee schedules upfront. Some offer money back guarantees.
Ads by Google
San Diego Child Custody
Mediation Saves Time and Money Peaceful, Affordable, Fast
www.AFairWay.com
Find Lost Family Members
Free Search Consultation Guaranteed Results! Search Now.
www.OmniTrace.com
Owed Child Support?
Let us Collect the Child Support You Deserve, Get the Facts Now.
www.NationalChildSupport.com
Find People For Free
Find Everyone From Your Past With Unlimited Free People Searches!
www.MyLife.com
Tips & Warnings
Unless you are lucky, you will probably not find your missing partner right away. Keep records of what you learn and when.
Spelling is very important on Internet searches.
Your state child support agency may not have the time to devote to finding your ex. As much as you are able, do your own search as well.
Resources
Guide to State Child Support Agencies
How to Use Search Engines
Deadbeat Dad and Mom Finders
WhitePages.com Nationwide Search
Who Can Help Sponsored
Ask a Lawyer Online Now
Need to do this project? Then let us help!
I want to do this!
What's This?
Read more: How to Locate a Deadbeat Dad | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4423631_locate-deadbeat-dad.html#ixzz0seXB9W4z
The Bad Dads Hall of Fame
The Bad Dads Hall of Fame
Jim Pierce: Tennis Terror
You know you're a bad sports dad when the rule banning parents for abusive behavior at tennis tournaments is informally named after you. Jim traumatized the stuffy sport by verbally assaulting both his daughter Mary and her opponents — he told a player who beat his child she was "never gonna amount to anything," which seemed uncalled for since her rival was twelve — and smacking other parents and fans. He was worse in private, as Mary alleged he regularly hit her. Mary dumped her coach/parent when she turned eighteen, using restraining orders and bodyguards to make certain he took the hint.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seVgfFQn
Ryan O'Neal: Daddy Dearest
The Oscar nominee made headlines in 2007 when he fought his son, Griffin, injuring Griffin's pregnant fiancée and drawing police attention when Ryan tried to calm things down by firing his gun. Ryan has an even worse relationship with daughter Tatum, whose autobiography A Paper Life recounts how dad created a child-friendly environment by constantly bedding potential mommies ("There was never any privacy. You could always hear him.") and ruining her triumphs, like when he allegedly hit her after she was nominated for an Oscar in 1973 and he wasn't.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seVmQFNI
Agamemnon: Not So Great Greek
Parenting involves tough decisions, like whether or not you should murder your kids when God tells you to off them. Abraham was spared slaughtering Isaac, but the commander of Greek forces wasn't so fortunate. Facing a lack of wind and eager to attack Troy, he sacrificed his daughter Iphigenia. Predictably, his wife Clytemnestra wasn't pleased that he murdered their child to change weather patterns (and further irritated when he returned from war with Cassandra, a captured mistress), leading her to murder him and in turn be butchered by their son Orestes, who promptly went mad. Top that, Jon and Kate Plus 8.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seVsJK1z
The Hangover Father: Stage Parent Supreme
Before this Vegas comedy even hit theaters, there was talk about a scene involving a baby being, shall we say, pleasured. Incredibly, this sequence was filmed not with a doll or a robot or a midget, but an actual infant. How did this happen? Here's Hangover star Bradley Cooper's memory: director Todd Philips was going to ask the baby's mother for permission, only he decided to wait for the "mother to go away and then asked the father. And then it's in the movie." Costar Zach Galifianakis has imagined meeting someone fifteen years from now who'll tell him, "I'm that kid you jerked off. You ruined my life." And none of it would have been possible without daddy.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seVxXvOR
Ivan the Terrible: Lived Up to the Name
Russia's first tsar reigned in a time marked by warfare and general paranoia, so some wanton violence was to be expected. Yet even he felt he'd gone too far when he beat his pregnant daughter-in-law for dressing provocatively until she miscarried and, when confronted by his heir apparent, struck him in the head and killed him, meaning he'd wiped out two generations of his family in an afternoon. Wracked by guilt, Ivan still found it in himself to rule for three more brutal years before passing, but took solace knowing Russian peasants would always remember him (after all, he'd enslaved them).
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seW1oYLh
Joseph Stalin: Learning from Ivan's Mistakes (Sort of)
Stalin killed millions of countrymen, so it's not surprising he was rough on his own kids, too. Upon learning son Yakov had unsuccessfully attempted suicide with a gun, Stalin quipped, "He can't even shoot straight." (Yakov later died in a German prison during WWII after his father declined a prisoner exchange. His other son, Vasily, drank himself to death.) Stalin got along best with daughter Svetlana, but even their relationship was tempestuous, with Stalin irritated by her romantic entanglements with Jews. (One Chosen Beau was sent to a labor camp.)
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seW6yaum
Marvin Gay, Sr.: Pissed-Off Pastor
Motown's crown prince often distanced himself from his father, and not just by adding an "e" to his last name. Marvin Sr. was a fundamentalist preacher but expressed his faith in non-devout ways, such as drinking huge amounts of vodka and cross-dressing. While he beat the entire family, he resented his son in particular. (Marvin's mother said dad simply "didn't love Marvin.") Indeed, Marvin Sr.'s killing of his boy was less shocking than his punishment for the crime: for firing two shots into the man who gave us "What's Going On" and "Sexual Healing" at virtually pointblank range, he received a six-year suspended sentence.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seWBPRSF
John List: The Do-Over
Debt takes a toll on a man, particularly when he has a family. Few have handled the pressure so poorly as New Jersey's John List, who dealt with economic woes by abandoning his life and starting over... after murdering his three children (he also offed his wife and mother). Caught eighteen years later, he explained he killed them and spared himself because suicide is a sin and he wanted to join them in heaven. He also noted once his scheme began — he killed them over a day, taking a break to rake leaves while waiting for the kids to come home — he had no choice but to move ahead: "It's just like D-Day, you go in, there's no stopping after you start."
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seWFznd1
Jim Pierce: Tennis Terror
You know you're a bad sports dad when the rule banning parents for abusive behavior at tennis tournaments is informally named after you. Jim traumatized the stuffy sport by verbally assaulting both his daughter Mary and her opponents — he told a player who beat his child she was "never gonna amount to anything," which seemed uncalled for since her rival was twelve — and smacking other parents and fans. He was worse in private, as Mary alleged he regularly hit her. Mary dumped her coach/parent when she turned eighteen, using restraining orders and bodyguards to make certain he took the hint.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seVgfFQn
Ryan O'Neal: Daddy Dearest
The Oscar nominee made headlines in 2007 when he fought his son, Griffin, injuring Griffin's pregnant fiancée and drawing police attention when Ryan tried to calm things down by firing his gun. Ryan has an even worse relationship with daughter Tatum, whose autobiography A Paper Life recounts how dad created a child-friendly environment by constantly bedding potential mommies ("There was never any privacy. You could always hear him.") and ruining her triumphs, like when he allegedly hit her after she was nominated for an Oscar in 1973 and he wasn't.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seVmQFNI
Agamemnon: Not So Great Greek
Parenting involves tough decisions, like whether or not you should murder your kids when God tells you to off them. Abraham was spared slaughtering Isaac, but the commander of Greek forces wasn't so fortunate. Facing a lack of wind and eager to attack Troy, he sacrificed his daughter Iphigenia. Predictably, his wife Clytemnestra wasn't pleased that he murdered their child to change weather patterns (and further irritated when he returned from war with Cassandra, a captured mistress), leading her to murder him and in turn be butchered by their son Orestes, who promptly went mad. Top that, Jon and Kate Plus 8.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seVsJK1z
The Hangover Father: Stage Parent Supreme
Before this Vegas comedy even hit theaters, there was talk about a scene involving a baby being, shall we say, pleasured. Incredibly, this sequence was filmed not with a doll or a robot or a midget, but an actual infant. How did this happen? Here's Hangover star Bradley Cooper's memory: director Todd Philips was going to ask the baby's mother for permission, only he decided to wait for the "mother to go away and then asked the father. And then it's in the movie." Costar Zach Galifianakis has imagined meeting someone fifteen years from now who'll tell him, "I'm that kid you jerked off. You ruined my life." And none of it would have been possible without daddy.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seVxXvOR
Ivan the Terrible: Lived Up to the Name
Russia's first tsar reigned in a time marked by warfare and general paranoia, so some wanton violence was to be expected. Yet even he felt he'd gone too far when he beat his pregnant daughter-in-law for dressing provocatively until she miscarried and, when confronted by his heir apparent, struck him in the head and killed him, meaning he'd wiped out two generations of his family in an afternoon. Wracked by guilt, Ivan still found it in himself to rule for three more brutal years before passing, but took solace knowing Russian peasants would always remember him (after all, he'd enslaved them).
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seW1oYLh
Joseph Stalin: Learning from Ivan's Mistakes (Sort of)
Stalin killed millions of countrymen, so it's not surprising he was rough on his own kids, too. Upon learning son Yakov had unsuccessfully attempted suicide with a gun, Stalin quipped, "He can't even shoot straight." (Yakov later died in a German prison during WWII after his father declined a prisoner exchange. His other son, Vasily, drank himself to death.) Stalin got along best with daughter Svetlana, but even their relationship was tempestuous, with Stalin irritated by her romantic entanglements with Jews. (One Chosen Beau was sent to a labor camp.)
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seW6yaum
Marvin Gay, Sr.: Pissed-Off Pastor
Motown's crown prince often distanced himself from his father, and not just by adding an "e" to his last name. Marvin Sr. was a fundamentalist preacher but expressed his faith in non-devout ways, such as drinking huge amounts of vodka and cross-dressing. While he beat the entire family, he resented his son in particular. (Marvin's mother said dad simply "didn't love Marvin.") Indeed, Marvin Sr.'s killing of his boy was less shocking than his punishment for the crime: for firing two shots into the man who gave us "What's Going On" and "Sexual Healing" at virtually pointblank range, he received a six-year suspended sentence.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seWBPRSF
John List: The Do-Over
Debt takes a toll on a man, particularly when he has a family. Few have handled the pressure so poorly as New Jersey's John List, who dealt with economic woes by abandoning his life and starting over... after murdering his three children (he also offed his wife and mother). Caught eighteen years later, he explained he killed them and spared himself because suicide is a sin and he wanted to join them in heaven. He also noted once his scheme began — he killed them over a day, taking a break to rake leaves while waiting for the kids to come home — he had no choice but to move ahead: "It's just like D-Day, you go in, there's no stopping after you start."
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seWFznd1
Friday, July 2, 2010
Today’s featured Deadbeat Located!
Today’s featured Deadbeat Located!
June 11, 2010 | Uncategorized
Fayetteville, GA: Hiding for 6 years. Owes $38,660.00, assets located!
2 Responses to “Today’s featured Deadbeat Located!”
James Gary Howell in Brooks Ga…remarried, living with his inlaws and makes about $5,000 a month. He currently owes $11,719.55.
By sheron on Jun 17, 2010
1 Trackback(s)
Jun 25, 2010: ROSS
Post a Comment
Name (required)
E-mail (will not be published) (required)
DEADBEAT DAD/MOM FINDERS℠, DEADBEAT DAD FINDERS℠ and DEADBEAT MOM FINDERS℠ are trademarks owned exclusively by Tery Adams, exclusive rights thereto will be enforced to the fullest extent of the law. © 2010 DEADBEAT DAD/MOM FINDERS℠
Website
June 11, 2010 | Uncategorized
Fayetteville, GA: Hiding for 6 years. Owes $38,660.00, assets located!
2 Responses to “Today’s featured Deadbeat Located!”
James Gary Howell in Brooks Ga…remarried, living with his inlaws and makes about $5,000 a month. He currently owes $11,719.55.
By sheron on Jun 17, 2010
1 Trackback(s)
Jun 25, 2010: ROSS
Post a Comment
Name (required)
E-mail (will not be published) (required)
DEADBEAT DAD/MOM FINDERS℠, DEADBEAT DAD FINDERS℠ and DEADBEAT MOM FINDERS℠ are trademarks owned exclusively by Tery Adams, exclusive rights thereto will be enforced to the fullest extent of the law. © 2010 DEADBEAT DAD/MOM FINDERS℠
Website
Friday, April 30, 2010
So I am alone in my house dealing with the fact that I may have Cancer again. I moved here to San Diego five years ago, after my divorce. My sister filed for divorce a short time later. Does it run in our blood?I don't know , all I know is I thought coming home to my family meant we would see eachother and spend loads of time together. I was wrong. It's seems that we are just as far away from eachother no matter the distance.
I have been ill on and off five years. It took time to situate after the divorce, we left with nothing and he gave no support, emotional or financial towards raising the girls. I found out I had Thyroid Cancer Three years ago. It was a shocker, the whole incident was shocking but I dealt with it. One thing I had the most trouble was when I called Jonny, the childrens father, to tell him I was out of surgery. I guess I was looking for sympathy.
Well, he just laughed and hung up the phone on me. I was so very sad. But I hung in there, and survived, and went back to work. A few months later I was fired, heck I've been so sick, Every one quit after that. Except my sister. If they didnt fire me we would all still be together.
I helped my sister get a job interview and she has managed to keep her name out of trouble at my old company. As she moves up , I was moved out, she left her husband on friendly terms, (she held stuff over him), Me and my ex parted on vulgar terms( I turned his ass in), Her ex paid for her car Zero a month due, I have two repos and I am about to lose the Kia (I pay 345 a month), My income goes from 78,000 to 23,000, she gets the bonus I helped the team get, she gets parties and raises. She rents a room to my college from work and gets 500 rent, alimony and child support of a few hundred every other week, she now earns at least 43,000. Heres the clentcher, a few weeks ago I anticipate needing to share expenses, shoot since I have moved here, I have sugessted we move in togehter, the other day I went to B and asked her, since her husband is in the military, she says she doesnt want to drive me crazy , I say I dont care, but she gaffed me. Well the two of them just got a place together, what just happened there, do I stink?
I moved here to be near my family and give my children foundation, I am their only rock. Instead I am sick and a mess, Everyone has deserted our family, and one day the girls will desert me too. Please tell me it isnt so...
Monday, April 26, 2010
Second round of cancer treatment.
So here I am at the VA hospital waiting for my Thyrogen injection. I'm not looking forward to it. I know what it did to me last time. I got so sick tired cranky and just so sad . I have
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
This is a test to deadbeat dad blogger
All people can right thier wrongs with a simple change of attitude. It
can happen .
Pam
can happen .
Pam
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
How to beat the deadbeat dad at thier own game.
Dear friends.
I have been working for awhile on how to find away to get my ex- husband to become concerned and show care and respect for his daughters. Since we broke up in 2005 , the issues between us festered and were never discussed again, he went his separate way. Away from my voice. the very voice that probably kept him awake at night these past five years. Allot of the words I spoke to him back then were mean ugly and designed to propagate a reaction from him. My purpose back then seemed to be to "drill Seargent" him into conformation. I have spoken directly to him , when that didn't work I spoke AT him. When that didn't work I spoke to the courts, they twisted and distorted my words and never found the truth, they never hosently resolved the issue,nor were they responsible. Later, I will discuss this accusation. Right now I want you all to know that I believe firmly that a person can resolve thier mistakes . Mine was to involve the justice system. They never allow the truth. They applie the law , which gives the victim no rights other than counciling and parking reimbursement. The accussed ? Heavy court fines, no mental evaluations , the wrong charge applied and fought for and the wrong solution. The charge turned into felony,probation. Limiting job prospects. He shouldnt have been charged at all, the issue were domestic and warrented counciling. Keeping America's Families together should be the number one priority! I sincerly believe that every daughter needs thier mother and thier father each for different times in thier lives. we need the complete circle to function evenly in order for the process to flow properly. Family circles must have a common ground. My Ex loves his children , he always has, I have never doubted that, others have never understood why my ex made the moves he did, but I did. Not because I did any one particular thing or many particular things. I do know that the more you call the police on someone the more mean they can become. what more do they have to lose. People can be pushed into corners , left to finacial crisis , mental crisis and physical health crisis, and only until a person has had enough of fallen down enough that he eventually descides to rise again but this time he says, "look how many times I have risen!", instead of "look how many times I have fallen!"( great author , I forgot, someone kickme later)
With the above in mind then I wonder why this man still jumped up and down saying I am not listening. Ahhhhh he does not feel acknowledged.... I get it now. so How do you make a person feel acknowledged? Personally , I discontinued the State run Child Support facility that promised to help work out the situation of child support, I feel they didn't help. They compounded the issue for us. Mainly him. I wasnt getting support to begin with, unless I asked directly for a few hundred. They kept taking his license , a few times were his own dang fault but once was mine becasue I didnt report in time that he made a payment(we had a verbal good faith he gave me a 100 dollars I report full payment, I reported half once and then forgot to report at all next time , tee hee hee, im not perfect) , I was trying to gain his trust then forgot to report, my fault. As soon as he found out on wendsday , I took him to the Child support enforcement office to cancel it in front of him. He is here because I invited him to see his children , well honeslty he asked if he could come stay with me he actually begged to see his children and I felt bad, Both kids had injuries (read my other blogs) Anyway, he is making an effort all of a sudden... I am trying to keep the door open for him, but so far Day four is killing me ...two days to go...
I have been working for awhile on how to find away to get my ex- husband to become concerned and show care and respect for his daughters. Since we broke up in 2005 , the issues between us festered and were never discussed again, he went his separate way. Away from my voice. the very voice that probably kept him awake at night these past five years. Allot of the words I spoke to him back then were mean ugly and designed to propagate a reaction from him. My purpose back then seemed to be to "drill Seargent" him into conformation. I have spoken directly to him , when that didn't work I spoke AT him. When that didn't work I spoke to the courts, they twisted and distorted my words and never found the truth, they never hosently resolved the issue,nor were they responsible. Later, I will discuss this accusation. Right now I want you all to know that I believe firmly that a person can resolve thier mistakes . Mine was to involve the justice system. They never allow the truth. They applie the law , which gives the victim no rights other than counciling and parking reimbursement. The accussed ? Heavy court fines, no mental evaluations , the wrong charge applied and fought for and the wrong solution. The charge turned into felony,probation. Limiting job prospects. He shouldnt have been charged at all, the issue were domestic and warrented counciling. Keeping America's Families together should be the number one priority! I sincerly believe that every daughter needs thier mother and thier father each for different times in thier lives. we need the complete circle to function evenly in order for the process to flow properly. Family circles must have a common ground. My Ex loves his children , he always has, I have never doubted that, others have never understood why my ex made the moves he did, but I did. Not because I did any one particular thing or many particular things. I do know that the more you call the police on someone the more mean they can become. what more do they have to lose. People can be pushed into corners , left to finacial crisis , mental crisis and physical health crisis, and only until a person has had enough of fallen down enough that he eventually descides to rise again but this time he says, "look how many times I have risen!", instead of "look how many times I have fallen!"( great author , I forgot, someone kickme later)
With the above in mind then I wonder why this man still jumped up and down saying I am not listening. Ahhhhh he does not feel acknowledged.... I get it now. so How do you make a person feel acknowledged? Personally , I discontinued the State run Child Support facility that promised to help work out the situation of child support, I feel they didn't help. They compounded the issue for us. Mainly him. I wasnt getting support to begin with, unless I asked directly for a few hundred. They kept taking his license , a few times were his own dang fault but once was mine becasue I didnt report in time that he made a payment(we had a verbal good faith he gave me a 100 dollars I report full payment, I reported half once and then forgot to report at all next time , tee hee hee, im not perfect) , I was trying to gain his trust then forgot to report, my fault. As soon as he found out on wendsday , I took him to the Child support enforcement office to cancel it in front of him. He is here because I invited him to see his children , well honeslty he asked if he could come stay with me he actually begged to see his children and I felt bad, Both kids had injuries (read my other blogs) Anyway, he is making an effort all of a sudden... I am trying to keep the door open for him, but so far Day four is killing me ...two days to go...
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Your Input wanted!
Today I thought we would try out my new way of deciding the right thing to do.
The ex hasn't made an effort in 5 years to see his daughters. He has barley paid child support. He hasn't been able to maintain steady employment and has got married and divorced in the last two years. Not to mention that he has also created another child in another state which this new mother wants nothing to do with him.....
OK, enough about him. I have been caring for our daughters for the past five years; I have nurtured every tear about their fathers’ absence. I know how badly they want to have their father in their lives.
Over the past two weekends both daughters individually went out on ski trips and injured themselves. The oldest, 13, fractured her spine on two vertebrate. The youngest 11 got a concussion and retrograde amnesia, so naturally the ex wants to see his daughters. Right?
For some reason he expected to stay at my house.... I would foster this idea except the last time he was in our house he became violent and disruptive.
Plus he said he would stay two weeks and under my conditions and he stayed 8 weeks and disregarded every condition I set forth.
He has no job, (neither do I right now) He has no money, He has no real home. I spoke to him over the phone recently on a number of occasions and It seems he still fly’s into fits of rage or at least that how he seems to me. He began rating what seemed to me as nonsense and past accusations. I feel his toxicity.
From the last incident, he is now on probation in the State of California, until July 2010, He is to have completed anger management by this date. I have asked him to show me that he has followed any of the court orders. He cannot and will not provide this information, Mind you, I am only inquiring because of the welfare and wellbeing I am protecting all of us he left us a complete disaster last time and I won’t tolerate another rath of Jon.
I want him to be near his children but I see a disregard for the law and since that is a fact therefore it must be that there is no real regard for whatever boundaries I may suggest to impose.
Thinking from a Childs perspective I can see several outcomes. One is where I can feel the happiness of being in my father’s hug, running into his arms, smelling his presence. But if he should trip out on a fellow drivers bad maneuver, spilled milk or sibling rivalry what would the perspective feel like? I feel fear and devastation---
Are there overnight supervised visits available for parents that want to come into town and spend time with their kids? Do I just abandon my house and let him be with the children? Actually I don’t want him near my safe place. This is our Safe Place and I don’t want him near this house. So how can I facilitate the father daughter relationship and take myself out of the picture? After all I must be what he hates...
So dear Public--- I'm Scared, I am afraid that he doesn’t have his marble and sense together.... I am afraid that if I inhibit his rights in any way that I could be accused of withholding the children to hurt him, I am afraid that if I allow the visit and facilitate their relationships that the ability of their father is so far inapt that he will inevitably emotional destroy my precious.
What would you do???? Who do I get for help? Both daughter injured this past weekend, both want to see their dad, He will be here on the 2nd???? HELP.
The ex hasn't made an effort in 5 years to see his daughters. He has barley paid child support. He hasn't been able to maintain steady employment and has got married and divorced in the last two years. Not to mention that he has also created another child in another state which this new mother wants nothing to do with him.....
OK, enough about him. I have been caring for our daughters for the past five years; I have nurtured every tear about their fathers’ absence. I know how badly they want to have their father in their lives.
Over the past two weekends both daughters individually went out on ski trips and injured themselves. The oldest, 13, fractured her spine on two vertebrate. The youngest 11 got a concussion and retrograde amnesia, so naturally the ex wants to see his daughters. Right?
For some reason he expected to stay at my house.... I would foster this idea except the last time he was in our house he became violent and disruptive.
Plus he said he would stay two weeks and under my conditions and he stayed 8 weeks and disregarded every condition I set forth.
He has no job, (neither do I right now) He has no money, He has no real home. I spoke to him over the phone recently on a number of occasions and It seems he still fly’s into fits of rage or at least that how he seems to me. He began rating what seemed to me as nonsense and past accusations. I feel his toxicity.
From the last incident, he is now on probation in the State of California, until July 2010, He is to have completed anger management by this date. I have asked him to show me that he has followed any of the court orders. He cannot and will not provide this information, Mind you, I am only inquiring because of the welfare and wellbeing I am protecting all of us he left us a complete disaster last time and I won’t tolerate another rath of Jon.
I want him to be near his children but I see a disregard for the law and since that is a fact therefore it must be that there is no real regard for whatever boundaries I may suggest to impose.
Thinking from a Childs perspective I can see several outcomes. One is where I can feel the happiness of being in my father’s hug, running into his arms, smelling his presence. But if he should trip out on a fellow drivers bad maneuver, spilled milk or sibling rivalry what would the perspective feel like? I feel fear and devastation---
Are there overnight supervised visits available for parents that want to come into town and spend time with their kids? Do I just abandon my house and let him be with the children? Actually I don’t want him near my safe place. This is our Safe Place and I don’t want him near this house. So how can I facilitate the father daughter relationship and take myself out of the picture? After all I must be what he hates...
So dear Public--- I'm Scared, I am afraid that he doesn’t have his marble and sense together.... I am afraid that if I inhibit his rights in any way that I could be accused of withholding the children to hurt him, I am afraid that if I allow the visit and facilitate their relationships that the ability of their father is so far inapt that he will inevitably emotional destroy my precious.
What would you do???? Who do I get for help? Both daughter injured this past weekend, both want to see their dad, He will be here on the 2nd???? HELP.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Through The Eyes Of A Child, Divorce Poems
Through The Eyes Of A Child, Divorce PoemsMy parents got divorced, but why'd I lose my dad?"
Through the Eyes Of A Child
© Brianna K. Slone
When I was only two years old,
My daddy went away.
He swore he'd always love me,
But he said he couldn't stay.
Days turned into weeks
And weeks turned into years.
I never saw my father,
He never saw my tears.
He never read me bedtime stories
Or tucked me in at night.
He never showed up for my birthdays,
But I always hoped he might.
He missed my first day of kindergarten
And all of my school plays.
He doesn't know how smart I am,
My report cards full of A's.
Sometimes I want to call him
To say Hey Dad I'm still alive!
I'll be 16 years old soon,
Will you teach me how to drive?
It’s almost time for college,
The years go by so fast.
I'm looking forward to my future,
But I'm still trapped within my past.
I guess I'll never understand,
Did I do something bad?
My parents got divorced,
But why did I lose my dad?
Through the Eyes Of A Child by Brianna K. Slone @FamilyFriendPoems
Source: Through The Eyes Of A Child, Divorce Poems http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/family/poetry.asp?poem=1542#ixzz0fAcuNNws
Through the Eyes Of A Child
© Brianna K. Slone
When I was only two years old,
My daddy went away.
He swore he'd always love me,
But he said he couldn't stay.
Days turned into weeks
And weeks turned into years.
I never saw my father,
He never saw my tears.
He never read me bedtime stories
Or tucked me in at night.
He never showed up for my birthdays,
But I always hoped he might.
He missed my first day of kindergarten
And all of my school plays.
He doesn't know how smart I am,
My report cards full of A's.
Sometimes I want to call him
To say Hey Dad I'm still alive!
I'll be 16 years old soon,
Will you teach me how to drive?
It’s almost time for college,
The years go by so fast.
I'm looking forward to my future,
But I'm still trapped within my past.
I guess I'll never understand,
Did I do something bad?
My parents got divorced,
But why did I lose my dad?
Through the Eyes Of A Child by Brianna K. Slone @FamilyFriendPoems
Source: Through The Eyes Of A Child, Divorce Poems http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/family/poetry.asp?poem=1542#ixzz0fAcuNNws
Deadbeat Parents Punishment Act
As reported at The Department of Justice
Deadbeat Parents Punishment Act
The problem with enforcement under the CSRA was remedied in 1998 with the passage of the Deadbeat Parents Punishment Act (DPPA) which created two new categories of federal felonies for the most egregious child support violators.
The Law Today
Today, a child support violator can be prosecuted under Federal law if the following facts exists: 1) the violator willfully failed to pay; 2) a known child support obligation; 3) which has a) remained unpaid for longer than a year or is greater than $5,000 (misdemeanor), or has b) remained unpaid for longer than two years or is greater than $10,000 (felony) 4) for a child who resides in another state, or 1) the violator traveled in interstate or foreign commerce; 2) with the intent to evade a support obligation; 3) if such obligation has remained unpaid for a period of one year or longer-or is greater than $5,000 (felony). See 18 U.S.C. §228.
Prosecutorial Considerations
Even if the above facts are present in an individual case, a decision whether or not a federal prosecution will be pursued may also include the following considerations: 1) Whether state civil and criminal remedies reasonable available have first been pursued; 2) Whether the violator has exhibited a pattern of moving from state to state to avoid payment; 3) Whether the violator has actually attempted to conceal his whereabouts or identity including using an alias or false social security number; and 4) Whether the violator has failed to comply with a support order despite previous contempt orders in state court.
For further information, go to http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/cshdbk.htm.
Deadbeat Parents Punishment Act
The problem with enforcement under the CSRA was remedied in 1998 with the passage of the Deadbeat Parents Punishment Act (DPPA) which created two new categories of federal felonies for the most egregious child support violators.
The Law Today
Today, a child support violator can be prosecuted under Federal law if the following facts exists: 1) the violator willfully failed to pay; 2) a known child support obligation; 3) which has a) remained unpaid for longer than a year or is greater than $5,000 (misdemeanor), or has b) remained unpaid for longer than two years or is greater than $10,000 (felony) 4) for a child who resides in another state, or 1) the violator traveled in interstate or foreign commerce; 2) with the intent to evade a support obligation; 3) if such obligation has remained unpaid for a period of one year or longer-or is greater than $5,000 (felony). See 18 U.S.C. §228.
Prosecutorial Considerations
Even if the above facts are present in an individual case, a decision whether or not a federal prosecution will be pursued may also include the following considerations: 1) Whether state civil and criminal remedies reasonable available have first been pursued; 2) Whether the violator has exhibited a pattern of moving from state to state to avoid payment; 3) Whether the violator has actually attempted to conceal his whereabouts or identity including using an alias or false social security number; and 4) Whether the violator has failed to comply with a support order despite previous contempt orders in state court.
For further information, go to http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/cshdbk.htm.
Questions, Through The Eyes Of A 6 Year Old Boy
Poem: A child's innocence is shattered when his daddy leaves.
Questions, Through The Eyes Of A 6 Year Old Boy.
© Adam T. Cumberbatch
Can you tuck me into bed mama?
Don't forget to kiss me goodnight.
Can you tell me a story mama,
Before you turn out the lights?
Can you kiss my forehead mama,
Like you used to do before?
Can you at least tell me you love me mama,
Before you close the bedroom door?
Why don't you wanna talk to me mama?
I miss the sound of your voice.
Mama, can you please say somethin'?
I guess if you don't, it's your choice.
But mama, I have to tell you somethin'...
Even though you're quiet mama,
I know what you're goin' through.
I understand why you cry now mama,
Cause I'm hurtin' too.
Why'd you have to leave us daddy?
I still had some growin' up to do.
Did we somehow make you mad daddy?
Or, were we not good enough for you?
Do you know that mama cries at night daddy?
I think it's cause she sleeps alone.
Daddy, can you please call the house tonight,
Cause mama is waitin' by the phone.
You know mama still loves you daddy?
But I hate you for what you done.
you put tears in mama's eyes, daddy.
And in the eyes of YOUR son.
I thought you said you'd never leave daddy?
You said we'd be pals, you and me.
But, you broke your promise daddy,
Like you broke this family.
Questions, Through The Eyes Of A 6 Year Old Boy. by Adam T. Cumberbatch @FamilyFriendPoems
Source: Questions, Divorce Poems http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/family/poetry.asp?poem=690#ixzz0fAKO2jsc
Questions, Through The Eyes Of A 6 Year Old Boy.
© Adam T. Cumberbatch
Can you tuck me into bed mama?
Don't forget to kiss me goodnight.
Can you tell me a story mama,
Before you turn out the lights?
Can you kiss my forehead mama,
Like you used to do before?
Can you at least tell me you love me mama,
Before you close the bedroom door?
Why don't you wanna talk to me mama?
I miss the sound of your voice.
Mama, can you please say somethin'?
I guess if you don't, it's your choice.
But mama, I have to tell you somethin'...
Even though you're quiet mama,
I know what you're goin' through.
I understand why you cry now mama,
Cause I'm hurtin' too.
Why'd you have to leave us daddy?
I still had some growin' up to do.
Did we somehow make you mad daddy?
Or, were we not good enough for you?
Do you know that mama cries at night daddy?
I think it's cause she sleeps alone.
Daddy, can you please call the house tonight,
Cause mama is waitin' by the phone.
You know mama still loves you daddy?
But I hate you for what you done.
you put tears in mama's eyes, daddy.
And in the eyes of YOUR son.
I thought you said you'd never leave daddy?
You said we'd be pals, you and me.
But, you broke your promise daddy,
Like you broke this family.
Questions, Through The Eyes Of A 6 Year Old Boy. by Adam T. Cumberbatch @FamilyFriendPoems
Source: Questions, Divorce Poems http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/family/poetry.asp?poem=690#ixzz0fAKO2jsc
What Defines Child Neglect?
Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl?: The Impact of Fatherlessness on Black Women
Daddy's Little Girl: Stories of the Special Bond Between Fathers and Daughters
First defining neglect as per federal laws. extends past the obvious abuses, and encompasses how the majority of parents parent.
Federal legislation lays the groundwork for States by identifying a minimum set of acts or behaviors that define child abuse and neglect. The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA), (42 U.S.C.A. §5106g), as amended by the Keeping Children and Families Safe Act of 2003, defines child abuse and neglect as, at minimum:
Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation; or An act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm.
Most Federal and State child protection laws primarily refer to cases of harm to a child caused by parents or other caregivers; they generally do not include harm caused by other people, such as acquaintances or strangers.
The examples provided below are for general informational purposes only. Not all States’ definitions will include all of the examples listed below, and individual States’ definitions may cover additional situations not mentioned here.
Physical abuse is nonaccidental physical injury (ranging from minor bruises to severe fractures or death) as a result of punching, beating, kicking, biting, shaking, throwing, stabbing, choking, hitting (with a hand, stick, strap, or other object), burning, or otherwise harming a child, that is inflicted by a parent, caregiver, or other person who has responsibility for the child.
2 Such injury is considered abuse regardless of whether the caregiver intended to hurt the child. Physical discipline, such as spanking or paddling, is not considered abuse as long as it is reasonable and causes no bodily injury to the child.
Neglect is the failure of a parent, guardian, or other caregiver to provide for a child’s basic needs. Neglect may be:
Physical (e.g., failure to provide necessary food or shelter, or lack of appropriate supervision)
Medical (e.g., failure to provide necessary medical or mental health treatment)3
Educational (e.g., failure to educate a child or attend to special education needs)
Emotional (e.g., inattention to a child’s emotional needs, failure to provide psychological care, or permitting the child to use alcohol or other drugs)
These situations do not always mean a child is neglected. Sometimes cultural values, the standards of care in the community, and poverty may be contributing factors, indicating the family is in need of information or assistance. When a family fails to use information and resources, and the child’s health or safety is at risk, then child welfare intervention may be required. In addition, many States provide an exception to the definition of neglect for parents who choose not to seek medical care for their children due to religious beliefs that may prohibit medical intervention.
4
Sexual abuse includes activities by a parent or caregiver such as fondling a child’s genitals, penetration, incest, rape, sodomy, indecent exposure, and exploitation through prostitution or the production of pornographic materials.
Sexual abuse is defined by CAPTA as "the employment, use, persuasion, inducement, enticement, or coercion of any child to engage in, or assist any other person to engage in, any sexually explicit conduct or simulation of such conduct for the purpose of producing a visual depiction of such conduct; or the rape, and in cases of caretaker or inter-familial relationships, statutory rape, molestation, prostitution, or other form of sexual exploitation of children, or incest with children."
Emotional abuse (or psychological abuse) is a pattern of behavior that impairs a child’s emotional development or sense of self-worth. This may include constant criticism, threats, or rejection, as well as withholding love, support, or guidance. Emotional abuse is often difficult to prove and, therefore, child protective services may not be able to intervene without evidence of harm or mental injury to the child. Emotional abuse is almost always present when other forms are identified.
Abandonment is now defined in many States as a form of neglect. In general, a child is considered to be abandoned when the parent's identity or whereabouts are unknown, the child has been left alone in circumstances where the child suffers serious harm, or the parent has failed to maintain contact with the child or provide reasonable support for a specified period of time.
Substance abuse is an element of the definition of child abuse or neglect in many States.5 Circumstances that are considered abuse or neglect in some States include:
Prenatal exposure of a child to harm due to the mother's use of an illegal drug or other substance
Manufacture of methamphetamine in the presence of a child
Selling, distributing, or giving illegal drugs or alcohol to a child
Use of a controlled substance by a caregiver that impairs the caregiver's ability to adequately care for the child
Resources
Child Maltreatment 2006
This report summarizes child abuse statistics submitted by States to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System (NCANDS) during 2006. It includes information about child maltreatment reports, victims, fatalities, perpetrators, services, and additional research.
Daddy's Little Girl: Stories of the Special Bond Between Fathers and DaughtersFirst defining neglect as per federal laws. extends past the obvious abuses, and encompasses how the majority of parents parent. Federal legislation lays the groundwork for States by identifying a minimum set of acts or behaviors that define child abuse and neglect. The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA), (42 U.S.C.A. §5106g), as amended by the Keeping Children and Families Safe Act of 2003, defines child abuse and neglect as, at minimum:
Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation; or An act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm.
Most Federal and State child protection laws primarily refer to cases of harm to a child caused by parents or other caregivers; they generally do not include harm caused by other people, such as acquaintances or strangers.
The examples provided below are for general informational purposes only. Not all States’ definitions will include all of the examples listed below, and individual States’ definitions may cover additional situations not mentioned here.
Physical abuse is nonaccidental physical injury (ranging from minor bruises to severe fractures or death) as a result of punching, beating, kicking, biting, shaking, throwing, stabbing, choking, hitting (with a hand, stick, strap, or other object), burning, or otherwise harming a child, that is inflicted by a parent, caregiver, or other person who has responsibility for the child.
2 Such injury is considered abuse regardless of whether the caregiver intended to hurt the child. Physical discipline, such as spanking or paddling, is not considered abuse as long as it is reasonable and causes no bodily injury to the child.
Neglect is the failure of a parent, guardian, or other caregiver to provide for a child’s basic needs. Neglect may be:
Physical (e.g., failure to provide necessary food or shelter, or lack of appropriate supervision)
Medical (e.g., failure to provide necessary medical or mental health treatment)3
Educational (e.g., failure to educate a child or attend to special education needs)
Emotional (e.g., inattention to a child’s emotional needs, failure to provide psychological care, or permitting the child to use alcohol or other drugs)
These situations do not always mean a child is neglected. Sometimes cultural values, the standards of care in the community, and poverty may be contributing factors, indicating the family is in need of information or assistance. When a family fails to use information and resources, and the child’s health or safety is at risk, then child welfare intervention may be required. In addition, many States provide an exception to the definition of neglect for parents who choose not to seek medical care for their children due to religious beliefs that may prohibit medical intervention.
4
Sexual abuse includes activities by a parent or caregiver such as fondling a child’s genitals, penetration, incest, rape, sodomy, indecent exposure, and exploitation through prostitution or the production of pornographic materials.
Sexual abuse is defined by CAPTA as "the employment, use, persuasion, inducement, enticement, or coercion of any child to engage in, or assist any other person to engage in, any sexually explicit conduct or simulation of such conduct for the purpose of producing a visual depiction of such conduct; or the rape, and in cases of caretaker or inter-familial relationships, statutory rape, molestation, prostitution, or other form of sexual exploitation of children, or incest with children."
Emotional abuse (or psychological abuse) is a pattern of behavior that impairs a child’s emotional development or sense of self-worth. This may include constant criticism, threats, or rejection, as well as withholding love, support, or guidance. Emotional abuse is often difficult to prove and, therefore, child protective services may not be able to intervene without evidence of harm or mental injury to the child. Emotional abuse is almost always present when other forms are identified.
Abandonment is now defined in many States as a form of neglect. In general, a child is considered to be abandoned when the parent's identity or whereabouts are unknown, the child has been left alone in circumstances where the child suffers serious harm, or the parent has failed to maintain contact with the child or provide reasonable support for a specified period of time.
Substance abuse is an element of the definition of child abuse or neglect in many States.5 Circumstances that are considered abuse or neglect in some States include:
Prenatal exposure of a child to harm due to the mother's use of an illegal drug or other substance
Manufacture of methamphetamine in the presence of a child
Selling, distributing, or giving illegal drugs or alcohol to a child
Use of a controlled substance by a caregiver that impairs the caregiver's ability to adequately care for the child
Resources
Child Maltreatment 2006
This report summarizes child abuse statistics submitted by States to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System (NCANDS) during 2006. It includes information about child maltreatment reports, victims, fatalities, perpetrators, services, and additional research.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
So I was browsing websites looking for what a parents resposibility is , as defined by law. Here is an excerpt ... "In addition, parents are expected to support their children according to their ability and station in life; this means that the children should share in both parents’ standard of living. (Family Code § 4053) This responsibility falls on both parents equally and applies to children’s adoptive parents as well. (Family Code § 9305) The failure to provide adequate food, clothing, shelter or parental care and supervision may lead to criminal prosecution for neglect. (Penal Code § 270)..."
I believe, this is the law that governs deadbeat dads. but what is the penalty for neglect?
I believe, this is the law that governs deadbeat dads. but what is the penalty for neglect?
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Mother Abuses Child Blames Husband
Today while watching the Steve Wiko's show I became furious at our society. I feel for the lady screeming on TV and I am horrified that I have any compassion for her.
She became a monster after she got pregnant at 19 by an older guy. He left her to care for the child alone. He didn't contribute to the childs support at all, as I understood it. There is no excuse for hurting a child but I understood this lady, when all her emotions came to surface.
She screamed about how she was left ot provide for this child and it was more than she felt she could handle, with no support, no job, she had gone nuts. She was leaving her child in trash , taping his mouth shut and other horrific things like running off to sell things for scraps to just to survive.
Still I identified, here is why.
Our society has created this circumstance and many others like it! I feel that our society allows men to walk away from thier children but it holds the mothers accountable. how do you feel about this statement?
She became a monster after she got pregnant at 19 by an older guy. He left her to care for the child alone. He didn't contribute to the childs support at all, as I understood it. There is no excuse for hurting a child but I understood this lady, when all her emotions came to surface.
She screamed about how she was left ot provide for this child and it was more than she felt she could handle, with no support, no job, she had gone nuts. She was leaving her child in trash , taping his mouth shut and other horrific things like running off to sell things for scraps to just to survive.
Still I identified, here is why.
Our society has created this circumstance and many others like it! I feel that our society allows men to walk away from thier children but it holds the mothers accountable. how do you feel about this statement?
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Track Deadbeat parents
How to Track Down a Deadbeat Parent
Contributor
By eHow Contributing Writer
Article Rating: (17 Ratings)
Gather all the information you have and follow every lead you get to track down that deadbeat dad. You can use the Internet, a private investigator or your local child support enforcement agency to find him and collect the money he owes you.
Gather all the information you have, such as his date of birth, Social Security number, a clear photograph, and names of friends, family and employers.
Step 2Keep an accurate record of what he owes you so that if you find him, you're prepared to collect.
Step 3Find out what the procedure is in your state for collecting overdue child support. Schedule a free consultation with an attorney or call the court that originally ordered the support to find out what you need to do.
Step 4Check with the post office and phone company for his forwarding addresses and phone numbers. Follow through on this information.
Step 5Call everyone you can think of who might have an idea of where he is. This includes any professional or union organizations he belongs to. Call his doctor, his dentist, the bar where he hangs out and anyplace else you can think of. Follow any leads you get.
Step 6Contact your local child support enforcement agency for assistance. If you don't know what this agency is called, call the mayor's office, your district's state legislator's office or the county attorney's office and ask them. Share any information you have about his whereabouts with the agency. They may have additional resources available for collecting the support owed.
Step 7Do an online search to locate him or information about him. Many sites will allow you to search a database of information for no cost and offer more detailed searches for a fee. You may be able to find out he has registered a car, applied for a loan or gotten credit in another state or city.
Step 8Consider hiring a private investigator if he's being very elusive. This will cost you money but may have good results. Check your state's laws to see if you can be reimbursed for this expense if he is located.
Step 9Pursue the matter in court. You may be able to get the court to issue a warrant for his arrest or obtain a judgment against him for the amount owed.
Contributor
By eHow Contributing Writer
Article Rating: (17 Ratings)
Gather all the information you have and follow every lead you get to track down that deadbeat dad. You can use the Internet, a private investigator or your local child support enforcement agency to find him and collect the money he owes you.
Gather all the information you have, such as his date of birth, Social Security number, a clear photograph, and names of friends, family and employers.
Step 2Keep an accurate record of what he owes you so that if you find him, you're prepared to collect.
Step 3Find out what the procedure is in your state for collecting overdue child support. Schedule a free consultation with an attorney or call the court that originally ordered the support to find out what you need to do.
Step 4Check with the post office and phone company for his forwarding addresses and phone numbers. Follow through on this information.
Step 5Call everyone you can think of who might have an idea of where he is. This includes any professional or union organizations he belongs to. Call his doctor, his dentist, the bar where he hangs out and anyplace else you can think of. Follow any leads you get.
Step 6Contact your local child support enforcement agency for assistance. If you don't know what this agency is called, call the mayor's office, your district's state legislator's office or the county attorney's office and ask them. Share any information you have about his whereabouts with the agency. They may have additional resources available for collecting the support owed.
Step 7Do an online search to locate him or information about him. Many sites will allow you to search a database of information for no cost and offer more detailed searches for a fee. You may be able to find out he has registered a car, applied for a loan or gotten credit in another state or city.
Step 8Consider hiring a private investigator if he's being very elusive. This will cost you money but may have good results. Check your state's laws to see if you can be reimbursed for this expense if he is located.
Step 9Pursue the matter in court. You may be able to get the court to issue a warrant for his arrest or obtain a judgment against him for the amount owed.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
When a Mother Chooses to Give Away a Newborn
When a Mother Chooses to Give Away a Newborn Just so everyone understands this is not a man bashing site, this is a blog where we can discuss what to do with teh parents who abandon thier children , chase them or let them free?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Hey A$$HOLE Pay your Child Support!
I have had it with county and state laws that are slow in process to rectify the issues of Dads who don't pay child support!
For instance, I know a parent who only chooses to work 4 months out of the year as a paid offshore oil rigger, the rest of the year he loafs off of his mother and gets paid cash. Her oldest son has chosen to embarrass the family by ignoring his two beautiful children, failing to push for visitations and failing to fit into societies norms. As I run into individuals, other families who have divorced, I have very rarely in my community, witnessed fathers who abandon their children so blatantly, it seems to be a rare gen flaw or something.
If we all believe that the actions of a parent who doesn't pay child support and doesn't excersize his right to parent his children is a clear demonstration of an A$$HOLE and just plain selfish, then YOU SHOULD RESOND HERE!
But I ask you how does the Asshole Parent feel? What could motivate this person to change all of the wrongs? At what point does a person stop to think that "HEY! I COULD Start calling my kids regularly, I could send them a notes in the mail, I could visit them a few times , then a few times more , then regularly, HEY! I CAN make this work. MY ex has always been willing to help. WHY AM I AN A$$HOLE when I DONT have to be?"
I know another Parent who didn't pay his support, attempted to visit his his kids regularly but screamed and snarled under his breath mean words as he would enter the house, eventually his wife wouldn't meet him for exchanges and then she stopped accepting his payments by hand and demanded he go through the courts. Eventually after not paying support and he will tell you he was being an ASSHOLE was found out and , well if you ask the guy today he will tell you he still feels like muttering explosive comments to his ex, but he is glad he finally went to detention.
His state puts parents who don't pay child support into facilities where the men have to work to make up the difference, the serve time and rehabilitate back into the community slowly. He never paid attention to his kids before he went to the program, he just focused on the breakup. Each person in the family was counseled and it was a team effort. Now he is focused on the children , he is focused on being a great example and a great positive influenced on the family as a unit , because yes it is still a unit. They lead separate lives, they are not married but they work toward the common goal of the children. I'm glad their children have both a mother and father in their lives.
Something the first example of a parent can't fathom. I sometimes have to look into clear deep brown eyes with golden hues, and watch as they turn red and glossy ,as they turn away from watching a child climb onto their fathers back, when no card comes on their birthday, no Xmas present, no knock on the door, no ring of the phone , an email filled with anger and hate towards their mother yes, but no love for their existence.
LOCK EM UP?! I think Not! tell us why they just cant take the time!
For instance, I know a parent who only chooses to work 4 months out of the year as a paid offshore oil rigger, the rest of the year he loafs off of his mother and gets paid cash. Her oldest son has chosen to embarrass the family by ignoring his two beautiful children, failing to push for visitations and failing to fit into societies norms. As I run into individuals, other families who have divorced, I have very rarely in my community, witnessed fathers who abandon their children so blatantly, it seems to be a rare gen flaw or something.
If we all believe that the actions of a parent who doesn't pay child support and doesn't excersize his right to parent his children is a clear demonstration of an A$$HOLE and just plain selfish, then YOU SHOULD RESOND HERE!
But I ask you how does the Asshole Parent feel? What could motivate this person to change all of the wrongs? At what point does a person stop to think that "HEY! I COULD Start calling my kids regularly, I could send them a notes in the mail, I could visit them a few times , then a few times more , then regularly, HEY! I CAN make this work. MY ex has always been willing to help. WHY AM I AN A$$HOLE when I DONT have to be?"
I know another Parent who didn't pay his support, attempted to visit his his kids regularly but screamed and snarled under his breath mean words as he would enter the house, eventually his wife wouldn't meet him for exchanges and then she stopped accepting his payments by hand and demanded he go through the courts. Eventually after not paying support and he will tell you he was being an ASSHOLE was found out and , well if you ask the guy today he will tell you he still feels like muttering explosive comments to his ex, but he is glad he finally went to detention.
His state puts parents who don't pay child support into facilities where the men have to work to make up the difference, the serve time and rehabilitate back into the community slowly. He never paid attention to his kids before he went to the program, he just focused on the breakup. Each person in the family was counseled and it was a team effort. Now he is focused on the children , he is focused on being a great example and a great positive influenced on the family as a unit , because yes it is still a unit. They lead separate lives, they are not married but they work toward the common goal of the children. I'm glad their children have both a mother and father in their lives.
Something the first example of a parent can't fathom. I sometimes have to look into clear deep brown eyes with golden hues, and watch as they turn red and glossy ,as they turn away from watching a child climb onto their fathers back, when no card comes on their birthday, no Xmas present, no knock on the door, no ring of the phone , an email filled with anger and hate towards their mother yes, but no love for their existence.
LOCK EM UP?! I think Not! tell us why they just cant take the time!
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